Well, she’s dead so you don’t have to be subjected to this made up scenario.

This Penguin FUCKS! 

“His larynx had been ripped out by this wolf man, so I made this slightly bold choice—which I thought was right—of talking like this for the whole film, which I felt suited the costumes and the extremity of the world. But in retrospect it may have been too much?” -- Eddie Redmayne

One poll taken a year out from the election is scientifically worthless.  

It’s not CGI. Disney just sewed human mouths with lips onto dogs. It’s part of the new Disney WOW! Genetic Labs.

I’ve Got a Fantastic Beast and You Know Where You Can Find It

The Avatar sequels were really the friends we made along the way to corporate streaming domination. 

Tiny dancers in my hands...

But we have Instagram! 

Oh no. Where am I going to go to not read about sports now?

The answer is always Twilight. 

It’s not TV. It’s HBO. And HBO Now. And HBO Go. And HBO Max.

Yes. Only 40.

“Let the games begin!”

I pretty sure the price of HBO Max is the emotional turmoil I go through after a breakup while still retaining my ex-girlfriend’s login credentials.

The spoiler is that you’re both gigantic nerds. 

whatever.

The show also doesn’t have any sound because Apple users have evolved beyond needing the inelegant noise of air being pushed out of a mouth. 

I know most would expect me to endorse Thundarr because he’s my boss, but honestly, he’s a bit of a dick.

More like Dr. Strange.