I’m confused by the shield. Did Sam, a human dude with no powers, suddenly get enough super strength to nearly knock down a decent sized tree? Does Captain America’s shield have an bladed edge to it? And if it does, how did Cap not murder anyone with its insanely sharp edge?

We know you’re lying because like the comments, writers on the site are locked out after 15 minutes from editing even if there are grammar or spelling mistakes.

It’s the Dawes of
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cock as performed by Frank Stallone.

The only knob I want is on the front of my TC Tuggers. #sponsoredcomment

Also, not written by Charlie Kaufman. D+.

Right behind that gigantic strawman. 

Fuck that. Bayformers is awesome. You’ve got some swords that transform into a dragon and Sir Anthony Exposition shows up with C3PO and there’s an action scene that has to stop the movie for a full minute to explain why it’s okay for Bay to fuck an underage girl in Texas and then Bumblebee punches out some Nazis and…

Watching “Internet Court” with recognitions as the prosecutor is one of my favorite shows on the AV Club so I guess I’m in group one.   

Maybe Obi-Wan comes to realize that a theocratic-led military force isn’t the ideal way to hold a republic together. 

It’s been well covered that ROTS is a shit movie. 

Scientists estimate that by 2043, every single American will have been at some point in their lives a contestant on the Bachelor and Bachelorette.

The Fliplets was hands down the best program on HGTV. 

I battled the evil wizard Vashtarr after he stole the Crystal of Prophecy. Pretty sure I saved all of New San Francisco.  

Obviously.

He has the second most punchable face in Hollywood. 

Those two movies made something like a billion dollars combined so more than reasonably successful.

I already wrote a similar comment to this one on another website so you can be expecting to hear from my lawyers. 

A star pilot in Rouge Squadron is not an everyman character! Now Porkins on the other hand...

I know when I was a kid, my favorite Star Wars character was a human engineer underling. 

“Pseudoscience is the WORST. Now if you’ll just swing over The Inventory and purchase a weighted blanket...”

-The AV Club