I would quite like a Satanael figure. He’s pretty boss.

Use your google-fu, and return to us with your wisdom. I’ve merely shown you the door. You must walk through it.

After listening to a lot of Lou Reads the Internet I figured the apotheosis of weird internet crap would be parrot-fuckers. I thought it’d happen eventually, some time in the distant future. I figured the result would be castration. Then last year, while I’m doing this bit, a guy in the room hands me his phone and…

I’m sorry, what? Parrots? How would that even ... you know what, never mind. I don’t want to know.

Welcome to the internet connected world. I once found a forum for people who have sex with parrots. The relatively straightforward worship of Narcissus that is self-marriage is pretty tame in comparison to a lot of the crap that exists these days because a critical mass of weird people were able to talk to each…

Sadly, none of us are surprised.

Beh... Bella Thorne very recently was a child! And Scott Disick looks like (and acts like) a very old snake. I’m reminded of the quote (from Dazed and Confused) secretly agreed to by predators everywhere; “That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age”.

That’s some impressive facial animation. How I hoped other AAA games (coff coff mass effect coff coff) could have this kind of production value...

This article reeks of the sort of “gut-reasoning” logic it aims to criticize. If you want to say that Jeter masked a lack of certain leadership qualities with off-field class, fine, whatever. But the attempt to take down Jeter’s captaincy because the Yankees “only” won one world series during that period is really…

Fine. Jeter wasn’t an elite captain. I guess.

tear the safety cover off your microwave

This lede is buried sooooo deep. Any story that doesn’t begin and end with the Zaza the Hitman taking out the best player on the floor with almost half the game left is laughable and ignorant. Kawhi was WORKING Kevin Durant, Draymond, Steph, and Klay. He could not be stopped so the resident thug went to work and…

No problem, sorry it was a bit late! My notification bubble doesn’t show numbers anymore for some reason, so I have to remind myself to check it.

Hmm, how best to put it... okay, did you like Dragon Age 2? If not, did you think Dragon Age 2 had some core elements of promise that made it worth playing through at least once? The Technomancer is a step above Dragon Age 2, so if you like any kind of action-RPGs with some decent lore hidden in them, definitely go…

That’s a solid “Daniel Kicks Johnny in the Face” on Simmons’ list of 14 80s Movies that Explain Celtics Playoff Losses (and Why Magic Actually Committed an Offensive Foul on the Baby Sky Hook).

Fuck Chelsea

If you want to learn how to do this safely from a guy that actually knows what he’s talking about, take a look at this vid from bigclive:

The evolution of the Garbage Truck ;)

Instead of calling QuadPole a “dumb f***” and telling him to go back to “f***ing civics class” and putting a stock Colbert GIF to look intelligent or funny, it would be classier and more educational if you explained to the person what the difference is.