This country would be infinitely better if we deported all Republicans and replaced them with the immigrants they so tirelessly are working to keep out.

I’m going to withhold judgment until I hear from somebody else who saw it on CNBC (wind whistles) (coyote howls) (sun goes nova, consuming most of the inner planets)

If someone told me that President Trump believes that Prima Nocta applies to anyone married by the President inside the White House ... I’m not quite sure what the over under is on how long it would take me to decide they were joking around.

Believe me, nobody wanted Hillary to win more than Donald Trump.

Hey!! That’s not nice!! The Kebler elves bring us cookies from the hollow tree!

You’d think a team that is overwhelmed by injuries year after year would at some point ask itself, “Maybe we’re not doing this right?” But not my Mets. Glug.

I didn’t even watch the draft this year. Leave it to Goodell to ruin what used to be the the perfect sports weekend.

See that’s what I thought too. But then the Yankees came back. So it’s all good.

I used to race a lot so I can hopefully provide some insight. Bike helmets are tested in a ~2 meter drop that gets up to about ~14 miles per hour. Most bike helmets are sold to ordinary consumers, so this ends up with helmets that aren’t too heavy and provide pretty good protection for recreational riders.

It’ll be a short conversation, but here it goes.

I’m female, and the thigh-bandana trend was a shared insanity in my social circle. You had to wear the tightest jeans you could sneak out of the house in (preferably ripped), and then tie a red (only red) bandana as high up on your thigh as it would go. The closer to your crotch, the sluttier everyone thought you were…

Ah, found the embarrassingly homer Sox fan.

So Tanaka pitching really well had nothing to do with it?

Ah, so when Sale  throws a shutout he’s a great pitcher but when someone does it against him they have nothing to do with it.

I’d feel bad if he went anywhere but Boston. I couldn’t care less if he threw his dick and balls off at this point.

With that NFL money, he can even afford to buy all the dlc.

If you’re gonna comment on a joke, make sure you realize it’s a joke.

One of the problems ESPN’s Darren Rovell points out

Barry Melrose is an odd hill to die on.

And yet Darren Rovell, the cockroach’s cockroach, will survive these cuts and outlive us all.

#BrandsArePeopleTooMyFriend