lol, Not even a diary, just a tome. Leather bound like the encyclopedias they used to sell on TV in the 90's with the built in goldleaf bookmark.

Am I in a Frank Miller comic?

Yeah but then you’d have to start keeping a masturbation diary so they know when not to visit. There’s got to be nothing worse than getting to the last page of that notebook.

Pshh!

I’m more worried about my accent being weird. Like if someone from the 20's popped into the present and he sounds like Edward G. Robinson. Bad look.

I officially await a pee tape TD celebration.

This is a bit awkward for me, because my plan was to just cosplay as a white European woman whenever I went back in time.

I got to the end of the first paragraph and abandoned ship.

He’s never even been to Berlin, either.

That Russell Wilson tweet probably has Jesus wishing he stayed home and jerked off that night.

Meanwhile here he is acting like a fucking five year old.

I’m good for a gallon a day and my legs look like I Muay Thai’d the fuck out of some ghosts if I don’t get on that cocoa butter.

I always wondered what happened to the “She’s your Queen” guy.

The VC thing has been obnoxious since it was introduced and it’s the main reason I gave up the series. Would love to see some pushback from consumers.

Ashamed to admit that I’ve only now realized SAS is just a contrarian.

Adalaide Byrd high af.

I know which one I’d rather be, though.

Sports look good on this TV? No funny business with the grass or the ball in flight?

Sports look good on this TV? No funny business with the grass or the ball in flight?

I can’t believe Rush Limbaugh is completely full of shit.

That’s attempted murder, isn’t it? I mean...what am I missing?