I’m going to miss ice and not eating the warm goo I bash out of my enemies. I’m looking forward to wearing a post apocalyptic outfit made entirely of belts.

Bad shit goes down in nearly every one of those movies. I see you, Hollywood.

That’s at least two movies where the Earth nearly blows up, off the top of my head.

What’s stopping all of us from just making August 4th the black 4th of July? Like, let’s all just take that day off and cookout and have fun.

I go out like a delivery driver. No more than 20 in cash.

You absolutely have an obligation to throw this beehive directly into her shit.

If I catch a reflection of myself while I’m pretending zoodles are spaghetti I just burst into tears.

Have you tried a safety razor? They’re so good at shaving heads I logged in to ask you this.

That’s gotta be a lot of pop ins, though.

Mooch jerks off to Rocky II every morning.

If I recall my kung fu movie upbringing correctly, the Buddhist swastika faces the other direction? It looks like Thailand just really likes some nazi shit.

lol holy shit, Thailand. Read a book.

Looking for seed money to get my Holocaust bakery off the ground. Any takers?

Damn, OJ’s jail had tons of activities. They had a softball team? I might need to get in some trouble in Nevada.

re: OJ’s skin. 23 hours indoors and the lotion he obviously had, I imagine.

They can call it what they want. We all know where that’s going.

Calling it an epidemic now is just unbelievable.

Hey now, sacks of shit serve a purpose. She hasn’t earned that moniker.

But she can’t! She’s just a small businesswoman, she’s new at all this. This is the first time she’s ever had any money. It’s all so intimidating and difficult!

I like to think I don’t give a fuck, but I’m not even playing the same sport as that bus driver.