100 years from now, draft boards will still say “1. Nets (Boston owns pick).”

How in the world is there no video.

If Heaven has motherfuckers like this, I’m gonna have to get sinning.

Dear finally promising farm system,

Imagine how hard it must be every single day for Randy Levine’s mirrors to fight off the urge to just slam him in the fucking face.

It genuinely looks like it should be written in crayon.

I bet you anything he introduced Omarosa to Ben like “And you know Ben.” and they just had to stand there shaking (and pulling) hands with a “The checks are real” smile on their faces.

I bet that baby is making car payments.

Who among us would resist tweeting insane bullshit if we knew for a fact that the second we submit it, CNN will have a panel of people try and make sense of it. I’d be The Riddler within two fucking weeks.

I wouldn’t google teen fingermouthing if I survived the nuclear war.

Wait.

This is a man with neither mirrors nor friends.

Don’t leave us hanging, man. What cereal?

Knicks fan perspective: Three nights a week, I envy the dead.

At least we know Loria will put everything he’s got into one of the four years he’s in France.

The photos alone have my guts bubbling.

A Westbrook jersey?

I think I’d look alright with lizard eyebrows.

This reality: Dolan is the first Knick to hang an L on MJ.

That’s where we live. All the universes out there and we’re fucking here.

Oh my God I would give anything. Anything.