You are truly a delight, Ari. Never change.

You mean like The New Yorker cover that showed Barack and Michelle as militants flag-burning and fist-bumping in the White House?

Oh you liberals and your constant negativity. Let's consider instead what she got right about this article.

white kara is the REAL racist

omg I just realized the scales are doing the side eye of justice

For the record, my friend posted that Rhea Wahlberg story yesterday and I was like, "According to the rules of Shade Court, that is not shade. Kara is definitely going to say it's not shade, I know it." And I was really excited to see if I was right. I've been studying really hard for shade tests in the real world.

I am at my best when no one can see me.

#MostSlytherins

#NotAllSlytherins

And you'll likely succeed at it too, from how it all sounds!

I'd go one step further and include his masturbation in your (non-physical) sexual relationship. Turn it into a kink you like watching, or some other form of thing. Thus it becomes something you both enjoy together, even if it doesn't mean PinV sex...

I have like the reverse problem of the stereotypical woman: I'm the one who wants way more sex. And we've had these conversations where he'll say he wants just as much sex as me, in theory/if he was never stressed out, so it will happen on vacation, but he just gets stressed out easily. It's tough on me. I don't think…

I will never understand people who pull the whole, "I don't want to have sex, but you also can't have time to yourself" thing. Frankly, I think that's emotional abuse just like sex guilt trips are.

TBH, in most cases I could maybe two weeks or more between sessions and not care. Since my 30s I just care less and less. It has nothing to do with my attraction to my wife and everything to do with my lack of giving a crap. Hahaha. It takes TIME. I'd rather just spend time with her relaxing 90% of the time. We're…

Start listening to Savage Love podcast. It's made me so much more open about talking about sex and I love hearing the dirty details about other people's sex lives. It's like "Dear Prudie" from Slate but all for sex/relationship things and it's so much fun.

My wife's favorite response to a maintenance sex request. "Can I just spread my legs and lie here while you do your thing? Also, if I fall asleep during it, and you come somewhere weird on me, try to clean me up a little in case the kids come in to the room before I wake up."

Guyrootof and I give each other maintenance sex often, but we both see it more as "favor/being a nice partner" sex. No one feels obligated, it can always be turned down. Sometimes he isn't into it and I am, and vice versa, so it's just a thing that sometimes happens when two people have been exclusive a long time. We…

Clearly an intentional stylistic choice, one that works very well in my opinion. By the time you're out of high school, you should be able to accept that some of the "rules" you learned about writing in 8th grade are negotiable.

To fix my termite problem I burned my house to the ground.

I. DECLARE. BANKRUPTCY.