onewaymonkey2015
One Way Monkey
onewaymonkey2015

All the times “Yas Queen” has been uttered, should have been saved for now.

I’ve always had dogs. Loved them and they were “part of the family”, but they were dogs. But two years ago we adopted a goldendoodle and she is the sweetest dog I've ever seen. She definitely climbed some ranks. Got her own stocking, a couple of fancy bones for Christmas and we pay for the expensiveass dog food. She

Why do we want him to shut up? I would like to see him become the nominee, after which he’ll have to face the rest of the voters, a significant majority of whom do not share his “philosophy” (if you can call it that).

Because what if you marry someone who also has a hyphenated last name? And then your kid also marries someone with 4 last names? Before long everyone has, if I remember my proverbs correctly, a billion last names and we’ve cut down the rain forest to print people’s novel-length birth certificates.

Bernie and Killer Mike need to ditch politics and make the buddy movie we all know they have it in them to make. I want this.

1. here for this

As my Bubby would say, and I believe this is a loose translation from the old country, “this fucking dipshit”.

When I was a kid I wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer SO BADLY MORE THAN ANYTHING.

Absolutely! we bleeding heart liberal moonbats we really like reading; and like to see others reading. Come for the socialism, stay for the reading!

And why I HATE, with a passion, the whole conversation around “having it all” - Who even wants it all? Personally, I never wanted kids and didn’t have them and feel great about it. The beauty of life is that we hopefully get to choose what we have and chuck, or don’t sign up for, the stuff we don’t. Being made to feel

I am a cat lady. I have two right now, but that’s only because my landlord won’t allow me to get more. When I get my own house........I will try to be an ethical cat hoarder. They’ll all be fixed and none of them will be dying in dark corners and not discovered for 4 years. But, yeah, I’m going to have lots of them.

My beloved asshole cat died earlier this year, and it’s been unexpectedly difficult to unshackle myself from my cat lady identity. I’m travelling a lot, so it doesn’t make sense to get another furry fuckface right now, but I feel bereft. Not just of a cat, but my of my truest, most essential self.

Laughing at Hitler is an important part of holding him responsible for the war? First of all, that makes no sense. Second of all, I’d rather Germany, and other countries that have a legacy of subjugating and eliminating members of a specific subgroup, show evidence that they think about what elements of their culture

My husband asked me why I was teary eyed. I said “Because I love you” Which was both very true and not at all true.

You guys...could we be on the verge of having woman in the Oval Office?