Here is the difference between Elizabeth Warren and Joe Biden...

Biden has historically been one of the most conservative Democrats of the past half century. He voted to ban LGBTQ people from the military, voted in favor of DOMA, the Hyde Amendment, and even against federal funds for abortions for rape and incest victims.

FAKE NEWS!

I’m confused...

“We market to who we sell to, and we don’t market to the whole world.”

Man... Dakota Fanning looks like shit! 

Last time I checked, indulging in unbridled racism was a pretty good way to get your face on the $20 bill. 

The Confederate states’ various Articles and Ordinances of Secession clearly state that they were seceding because of slavery.

Fuck the Summer Of Love Jubilee. We get it. It was a cool concert half a century ago.

Baby seats shouldn’t be in the front seat anyway. If you rear-end someone with a car seat in the front seat, you risk it flying into the windshield. In the back seat, the car seat will only hit a seatback. It’s far safer.

It’s Fisher v University of Texas all over again.

Sue the school for racial discrimination. After all, they'd be rejecting her based on the fact that she is really a white girl. 

Shit, I could have told him that was going to happen. When my mustache gets long enough to curl, half the time I’ll fidget by putting the ends in my mouth.

Cats has a simple plot.

Stairs.

I’m blessed with loud daughters. If the older is in the car, she’s talking to me. And the younger is a nonstop symphony of grunts as she tries to struggle against the straps.

This, I believe, is every parent’s secret nightmare.

Your small Southern town sounds like a death trap, a suicide rap.

I have a 75 pound dog. If she pulls, it pulls my arm. But the leash won’t break free because I keep the loop around my wrist.

I’m sorry. Does Trump not realize that literally tens of thousands of people commute from Baltimore to DC every day?