Indeed. Nothing is more angry than citing to articles showing a continuing trend backed up with empiric data. 

The eternal question with babies is “How can I keep her asleep for as long as possible?”

1) Beard combs exist

Statistically speaking, you haven’t.

We don’t.

Red Robin isn’t so bad. My daughter is picky and we haven’t figured out what her deal is when it comes to eating. But she’ll down multiple plates of Swirly-Twirly, which puts my mind at ease.

Yes. The screaming will detract from the adults who are drunkenly screaming. 

Here’s another Pro-tip

To be fair, it had a bit more bite and originality to it when Pulitzer Prize-winning mustache Thomas Friedman made the comparison two years ago. 

On the one hand, I don’t drink canned beer.

Baby Boomers don't like being reminded that the majority of them voted for Reagan twice, W twice and for Trump. 

Woodstock 50:

My daughter has had to learn about white supremacy through evacuation drills at her Jewish nursery school since 2017.

The only thing I bury in my yard are the roots of things I'm planting because that's where my drinking water comes from. 

Devin, Devin, Devin.

You know, if we hadn’t enslaved black people, we wouldn’t have been able to free them. If we hadn’t oppressed black people, wonderful leaders like Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. wouldn’t have ever had an opportunity to give that soaring speech from the March on Washington. Without systemic institutional racism, there…

I’m a Level 54 Nerd.

“I refuse to teach, spread or be an advocate for hatred—I just want to make people laugh.”

Yeah? Well you can't be in my D&D campaign so NYAH! 

Lawyering 101: Know your adversary.