Personally, I’m voting for Extinction Level Asteroid Colliding With Earth.

From what I’ve heard of his new material, clubs shouldn’t be booking him. Not least of all being because he’s just not that funny anymore.

So what you're saying is that we're finally going to find out what's in Jennifer Garner's wallet. 

The term “sex symbol" died along with Burt Reynolds. 

To quote Jake Blues, “I offered to help you. You refused. So I said, ‘Well then... I guess you’re really up Shit Creek.’”

Pelosi didn’t ask for anything.

As well you should be. You used debt to leverage your down payment. You likely did it in a responsible manner, whether you intended to or not, as most lenders require a 20% down payment and have a rigorous underwriting review to ensure that you can make the monthly payments. You have (or had) a tax benefit through the…

Being in debt is okay. That’s how leveraging works.

This is part 1 a two-part trolling.

Trump’s continued love of KFC is further confirmation of his derangement.

What do you expect from the neoliberal paper of record? 

He'll be wearing a lot more orange soon enough. 

The word you're looking for is "kapo". 

The problem is this:

Well then we must agree to move in different circles.

I guess I’m spoiled.

Not only that but fucking Wendy’s. I mean.... Wendy’s.

If you actually go back and read the account of the destruction of Sodom in its full context, you’ll see that God destroyed Sodom, not because of sexual perversion, but because, in spite of their wealth, comfort, and prosperity, they were greedy, cold, and hostile to those in need.

The picture is a message. It shows just how much his staff hates him. No one said, “Hey boss... This isn’t a good idea.”

“The Short-Fingered Vulgarian In His Natural State”