I can’t... I just can’t. There’s so much to unpack in this photo.

A) Her fur isn’t that short. It’s about 2 inches long.

All problems with cats stem from the fact that they are cats, not dogs.

Fuck you, Jupiter, with your “I have my own gravitational pull” bullshit. All bodies with mass have their own gravitational pull. It’s call elementary principles of Newtonian physics.

Two things:

Jezebel: Earth has too many moons.

THE BALLCHINIAN CANDIDATE 

All of the “Gee willikers...Looky at the purty snow. Makes me all humble,” doesn’t even BEGIN to make up for his racist bullshit.

The only proper response to that tweet is “Wow. You’re a real piece of shit, aren’t you?”

Women who have not been married or otherwise betrothed by age 22 will be auctioned off to an incel in the interest of preventing rampage shootings targeting women.

Well switching to a soy-based diet is hardly an environmentally friendly change. Instead of clearcutting land for cattle grazing, you’re clearcutting land for soy cultivation. 

I understand that I’m just some schmuck debt collection lawyer from a second-tier law school but even I know that ignorance is not a defense to statutory rape.

Do not try and find the bottom. That’s impossible.

Well then, if that's true, surely employers would have no problem with a $30 minimum wage. After all, they'd be paying at least that to attract and retain male workers. 

Pizza already has a fat (cheese) and an acid (tomato sauce). And a good crispy crust is the texture. 

Ummm. Okay. I’ll play.

You don’t understand.

Bodily autonomy is a right afforded to white men and only white men. 

“Why is that Sim grilling burgers for breakfast?”

At some point, I’m going to let my daughter try a Hostess cherry pie.