In case anyone is unclear, when you blame CNN for someone sending a bomb to CNN’s NY offices, you are LITERALLY blaming the victim.

I thought Call 911 On A White Person was October 8th.

Megyn Kelly is so full of pale chalky shit.

Ummm... no shit!

My friend has a dashcam in his car specifically to record any and all interactions he has with the police. As soon as he is told to pull over, he is recording.

Yet another shining example of Catch-22 in action.

Buttermilk scones with a maple bacon glaze. It's like God jizzed in your mouth. 

Confession: I’m brewing up some pumpkin spice ale. Like, I’m making ale and roasted pumpkin is part of the recipe. So is nutmeg, clove, allspice, and cinnamon.

You know what you call Germans who voted for the Nazi Party but were not actively involved with committing genocide?

Remember that time when Caitlin Fucking Jenner endorsed Trump because she thought Trump was better for LGBT?

You're right. I get all my crazy violent white guys confused. 

That's like when David Hinckley came up for parole and said that if John Lennon was still alive, he'd have forgiven him and everyone was like, "Yeah? Well I guess you shouldn't have fucking killed him then." 

Now now... Ryanair didn’t sit idly by as this went down and saying that they did nothing is completely inaccurate and unfair.

It’s all his tailor’s fault. Sold him a pair of pants with a zipper that wouldn’t stay up.

As a purported joke, when he married my mom, he said when she turned 40,he’d trade her in for two 20s.

When my dad remarried, my mom was good enough to tell my (now-ex) stepmom, “Don’t forget...You’re in line after me. And yes, you’ll wind up in line too. Because, honey, you’re 26. Which means your marriage has 13 years in it - TOPS!”

Plant the seeds of doubt in his new nascent relationship.

Have faith. That’s what both of the positive tests looked like for us. My two are currently sleeping.

Good news, bad news.

Speaking from my own personal experience growing up as a largely non-observant Jew in America who would go to Conservative and Conservadox services on the high holidays, lapsed, and now is raising my kids in an extremely liberal Reform congregation, many in my family had a rather nasty hierarchy of prejudice. Shikse…