You live in a state named “California.” The name comes from the mythical Spanish island paradise of Califia.

Nice to know that 20 years after James Byrd, things haven't changed. 

It's like "Simon Says" but if Simon didn’t say, you get shot. 

Thankfully, beyond a reasonable doubt is the burden of proof for CONVICTION.

“False report” is defined by OCGA 16-11-39.2(a)(3) as “the fabrication of an incident or crime or of material information relating to the incident or crime which the person making the report knows to be false at the time of making the report.”

Just a reminder that calling 911 frivolously for non-emergencies IS a crime.

“I felt like my life was going nowhere.”

Personally, I recommend this car seat. It’s FAA-approved, easy to use, narrow enough for the middle seat, and lightweight - a must for in the terminal).

I expect nothing less from the Purdue Mayonnaisemakers. 

November 9, 2016 taught me to never overestimate the compassion of suburban white women or underestimate their lack of will to act.

How Trump will bring back internment camps:

Some people need to spend a few Saturday afternoons getting stoned and watching nature documentaries.

I’m sure this show is brilliant, well-scripted, and well-acted. But I can’t watch it. Not now.

See above.

Yes. I do say, “Go fuck yourself,” to straight white men whose politics are “I just want my freedom to do what I want to do” and give praise to would-be despots.

I’m just happy that he didn’t spell it “ora.”

Roman Polanski, Woody Allen, Quentin Tarantino, David Lynch

I’m sure she was just suffering some side effects from the Ambien she took.

I hope PermitPatty is put in prison for selling marijuana. Which is what her business does.

I’m guessing that the N word in question here isn’t “Netflix”