As the oldest of 3 kids, I was the only fetus my mom totally quit smoking and drinking for.

x2. If Jez turns into shitty lady fluff, and I have to see the Kardashians more than I already have to, I’m out.

And at least the guy in charge was wearing a suit. If he’d been sporting some Fieri gear, my friend probably would have called him something terrible in Mandarin.

Sounds like when my buddy was in China, went to a pizza place, and when he asked if they could leave a few toppings off, a manager in a suit came out and said “It is forbidden".

Best thing I've read all day.

If Scott Walker has to be stupid, so does everyone else!!!!

More money for you and Mr. Stu to buy each other fine gifts.

Right? I love Michigan, it’s beautiful. It’s why I’m still here.

It's steak dinner or Nothing.

#puremichigan

Joke’s on him. My family doesn’t even HAVE a dinner table

Oh and since I work in Ann Arbor, I keep hoping I’ll see our fine governor, so I can whip my bagel at his stupid head. Or maybe take a dump on his condo balcony.

Oh please. Michigan is becoming the new Alabama. #thankssnyder

How Christ like!

It’s getting hard to keep up with everything! I want to be happy it’s the end of his term, but goddamn people in this state got stupider.

Nah, I live in Michigan and have my whole life. It’s a shitty state with shitty legislators. Folks got a little too Tea Party crazy the past couple of elections... I think were 48th-50th in terms of state corruption.

Hell, let’s keep going.

Ah, good old Governor Snyder. The man who gave us Michiganders lead in the Flint water supply (which was vehemently denied until recently), a road funding bill that not only fucks us long term, but that Michiganders rejected in a vote last year. Who made ample cuts and loopholes for his business pals, raped our…

TREAT YO SELF!

Omg alone time is key.