You sound like my husband, who has never farted within earshot of me or any other human.

The only thing ibuprofen does for me is it lessened blood flow during the IUD-spotting days.

Oh and my doctor told me to “take a few ibuprofen” when I showed up the second day I had it (to make sure I wasn’t fucking dying) doubled over, crying, and basically carried in by my boyfriend.

It wasn’t the insertion that hurt. It was the rest of the day and days that followed when my uterus was doing everything in it’s power to expel the thing.

This comment times 100000

It was 3 days of crying for me. And vicodin instead of ice cream.

“Just a little scrape”

But what about Sex Robot?

The one time in history a cat isn’t a totally lazy parasite and pulls in some money? There aren’t better people to get mad at?

Shit, she can come too. Just make that blanket king sized and double up on booze and snacks.

That’s if Mexico is even still there

And “He can only read at a second grade level” is not a defense.

All friends love Irish coffee and donuts!

I’m in love with my dispensary. I also got to sign the petition to legalize marijuana here while I was paying for my eighth and slice of cheesecake.

I know people who still buy the old "$25 for a quarter" shit we smoked before medical got legalized. It's around, you just gotta ask.

Too bad what I'm smoking now is totes legal here in Michigan!

If anyone deserves to be tarred and feathered, it's that guy.

I think he may have inspired me to keep a sign folded up in my bag for those future cold, rainy/snowy Sunday afternoons when the anti-choice protestors drag their children out to stand by the road and attempt to "engage" people waiting for the bus.

We gotta make Nik Severson a cake or mail him a box of steaks. Bless him.