Bring same bowl of candy corn out as a decoration every year. Dust and put away November 1st.

Fire Kate. Hire me and I’ll lead you to a 1,000 year reign free of the tyranny of that foul, waxy, devil that sullies both the names of Corn AND Candy.

Between this and the Courser-Gamrat shit, I’m feeling some serious Michigander pride.

But it’s different cuz White Jesus™

My grandma used to work as an RN there. But not for long cuz as an educated, liberal, single mother..

Yeah, I have a friend with stage 4 bowel cancer who lives in the same area as this woman. Pretty much his only non-Catholic hospital option that takes his insurance is about a 2 hour drive away. So he drives 4 hours round trip for chemo Every. Week. Along with an additional trip for his mother who is also going…

Ah, you’re one of my people.

I wish. If Walker is smart he'll stay away from Michigan or I'll follow him with a similar sign.

It’s the butt Scott Walker lives in

Good! Next God will say something about those damn kids with the wheelie boards and their hipping hops music.

That’s why I got pulled out of preschool. It was less work to go take out new library books a couple times a week than deal with my “I hate school they’re a bunch of dumb dumbs” tantrums every morning.

My parents figured that’s what kindergarten is for.

I wish it was more common for parents to do this. I’ll never understand thinking “Eh, that’s what school is for”

Thank god Mr. Farticus and I aren’t the only ones. I said it after his podiatrist explained to us all the bone sawing and screw inserting he did in Mr’s foot a couple weeks ago.

There needs to be 4) Garbled nonsense

Same. My parents both worked nights, so the first 5 or 6 years of my life I hung out with my grandma every day. She taught me to read, addition and subtraction, how to cook simple things, gardening, and she potty trained me pretty early. She also bought me lots and lots of books and I read them all.

They'd be throwing shit at her if she bluntly pointed out Republican hypocrisy.

It's a big event. Gotta bust out your best scowl.

The closest any Christians have come to a socialist Jewish man since Christ was crucified.

#grumpyoldman2016