This is why I can never stop ripping on the South, and can never live there. I love the South, but goddamn it makes me appreciate Michigan when I come home.

I’ve got an eruption for you

My first thought upon reading “Foamy Eruption” was Turbulent Juice.

Until she gets all Victorian about birth control.

I wish I had recorded that phone call.

Right? I don't recall her mentioning boiling water in a big cauldron, and spending the day slaving over hot wet clothes.

Indoor plumbing. And the ability to wear pants.

I DON’T KNOW. But no one has seen her since so....

Maybe they'll send him out to sea.

My friend had some sort of college science class a couple years ago, with a professor (or teacher whatevs, I don't know what to call her because she was some sort of idiot who somehow attained a science degree) who didn’t believe in evolution. Or continental drift. I’m sure she didn’t believe in lots of other things…

I made it a year before the conservative religious environment and the snow drove me off.

YEAH BUT IF WE CAME FROM MONKIES HOW COME THERE'S STILL MONKIES SMART ASS?!

The Onion once again nailed it

It's definitely going to be what makes me finally move to Canada before they wall it off.

It won't help. Gonna have to switch to pre-noon booze and do a few hours of day drinking to figure this out.

It’s what he gets for sniffing his own poo and living in a butt

But those refugees fleeing violence from South and Central America, as well as Mexico, fuck those guys.

I always figured Fuckface Von Clownstick had those weird funhouse mirrors installed in all his mansions.

I have been noticing a lot of us around here!