Scary? Nah, I find this rather humerus.

I think we can agree that Thursday Night Football is somehow a Madden simulation using the engine from 2034; the graphics are indistinguishable from reality but the physics still aren’t quite right.

As a Bears fan who used to own a Sex Cannon jersey, this is painfully true.

Because GMs get stupid when the see a guy over 6’5” that can throw the ball to Jupiter. Remember Kyle Boller? He would get down on one knee at the 50 and throw the ball through the uprights. GMs cum in their pants over stuff like that. It totally masks the fact that a guy sucks in all other aspects of the game.

::Follows Rhyader’s advice::

Bortles was going to announce their pick, but he got intercepted.

“Willingness to default to playground style”

The Jags are set at QB?

“Steph Curry routinely shoots 3's well beyond the range that is commonly accepted as a high-percentage 3. He needs to learn how to play more within the offense.” 

Clearly the reason so many talking head former players are against going for 2 down 1 late in the game is because they’d rather blame a kicker for losing the game on missed PAT than blame a REAL FOOTBAW PLAYER for fucking up a 2 point conversion. 

So Mahomes got lucky to be coached by Andy Reid, but also Mahomes is like Rodgers and wins despite his shitty coach, Andy Reid?

True. Remember, once there was an actual, legitimate debate about whether Peyton Manning or Ryan Leaf should go #1 overall.

I love a close upset, but there’s something to be said for a heavy underdog just beating the living shit out of a team like Ohio State

You can see a pattern to the grievances with Mahomes. It’s like some agent telling you your screenplay was brilliant but not quite the right fit for whatever some dumbfuck studio needs at the moment.

A Google search for “Patrick Mahomes raw” turns up 106,000 results.

How The Fuck Did So Many Teams Pass On Patrick Mahomes?

David Gelertner not only seems nuts from both that article and interview, but he was one of the targets of the Unabomber. From the NY Times article about his bombing, there’s also this tibdit:

Needs to play inside the rule of law and show more discipline. Too eager to make friends with dictators. Ravenous appetite for fast food can also bring unwanted gastrointestinal trouble. Willingness to default to playground bullying style appears to limit his ability to be taken seriously. Needs to improve…

In what world should they invite a guy who basically accused the starting pitcher of lying about racism? 

He was busy anyways planting bombs in George Soros mailbox so probably couldn’t make it.