For me, it’s usually more of this:

That was the whole schtick with my adoptive parents. Two barren people find each other and want to feel good about themselves...adopt three kids from Eastern Europe in the 80s where you got cheap white babies from, paid cash ( literally, and a story for another day ) and then expect is to kowtow and beg for…

While I was getting in the car to go to my little sister’s funeral...

My dad used to joke when I had braces that all I needed in addition to those railroad tracks were glasses and then I would never find a husband.

Dad when I was 15: “You could stand to lose a few...” I was around 135 then...and I’m 5’7”.

That is a beautiful piece of fabric that you have chosen to show, indeed, as are all fabrics. I salute you. Muslin, Jute, Chintzianity, Silkh, Buddcloth, even Satin worshipping, are all part of a broader cloth.

That’s National Treasure Julie Walters to you.

Long labia haver here. I have never not once felt uncomfortable with my crotchal area in yoga pants. Literally everyone in my yoga class is packing a spandex burger. Doesn't matter.

Wow, almost like that’s the whole point.

OK seriously, though — is there anyone (bride or not) who WOULDN’T rush to the side of their injured father or grandparents? I can’t even imagine getting the call and going, “Oh well, I’m sure they’ll be fine, I need to go make my grand entrance at my reception.”

White people have discovered that they are the REAL victims of racism and prejudice recently as well.

WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE MEN WHO CAN’T GET LAID!

For fuck’s sake.

Me and my sisters went to catholic school for a year when we were little because we were living in an area where my parents didn’t feel great about the public schools. (We’re not catholic.)

Lush is actually a fucking superb company, as capitalist cultures go. They pay more much tax than they have to, which in this climate of ‘creative’ accounting makes them pretty much saints. When I look at the scumbag companies looting my country, Lush are most definitely in my good books.

Inspired by the Rachel Dolezal Method of non-answers.

Don't forget she could also rock a full set of mechanic's coveralls!

I got to tour the Britannia yacht a few years ago. My main takeaway was that QEII was BANGING back in the day. She had to hide her light under a bushel a bit more than Princess Margaret, but that is a very hourglassy figure.

I love the caftan on her. It's the outlier for sure, but it makes her look so fun and happy. Kind of reminds me of Elizabeth Taylor.