Your compassion is an oasis in a desert of judgement. Some of these comments are pretty messed up. It is a terrifying experience. I was rushed to the ER in surprise labor in the middle of the night at 16. The whole thing was awful. I was treated like a liar and a moron by most of the staff. I could barely keep social…

Oh you know I made them feel plenty guilty. I was waited on by them hand and foot while I recovered.

The organic zebra cucumber is the detail that takes this from wonderful to absolutely transcendent.

I feel bad for the poor thing and yet I still laugh-gargled my wine when I read this.

Once I was really drunk unloading the dishwasher and dropped the blade from a food processor on my foot. I was so wasted I tied a gym sock around it, called a friend and demanded she take me to the ER ("when we're soberer!"), and went to bed. I had nightmares I was trapped in a carnival with a profusely bleeding foot…

When my little sister was much younger - like 5, I think - my mom decided a cute activity for the two of us to do would be to pick flowers from the garden and make flower prints on fabric. If you pound fresh flowers into linen or canvas with a good amount of force, the pigment from the petals comes off and, once you…

This isn't me, but it was a guy I was dating at the time. We had vermicelli for dinner. There was one little dried bit of vermicelli stuck to the botom of the pot. Boyfriend, who was always cleaning pots and pans with his hands first to "save sponges" (WTF even is that) was cleaning it and decided to scrape the piece…

In 7th grade I was trying to catch up to my friend by our lockers, so I jogged over to her and shouted "Kenna, wait up!" As I did so, I rolled my ankle, and felt it crack. I was just wearing flip flops! (Not even those sky high Rocket Dog shoes that were popular at the time). Teachers had to carry me to the office,…

I legit slipped on a fresh banana peel once and went ass over teakettle. I know, Mythbusters says they're not slippery but I DID. It was pure cliche slapstick comedy, and even though my ego was probably the most bruised thing it was just so fucking ridiculous it counts as the dumbest.

i'm just one of those people who constantly hurts themselves, in little insignificant ways. like my automatic reaction to any bump or slip or anything is an 'ow,' just to be prepared, then i assess if there's any actual damage.

One night as a senior in high school I was high as a kite with a group of attractive men. As the night wore on I started making out with one of them and almost immediately started to have trouble breathing.

I love this so much I don't know what to do.

I worked at a fairly large cadillac dealership in the service department. The service department consisted of a very long building with service stalls on both sides and the dispatch office (where I worked) was right in the middle. I was one of the very few females employed in this department. It was a fun job but…

You should change your name to BurnerBore

I usually don't get touchy about stuff online, but I think that deriving "careless, entitled imbecile" from my story or assuming that I don't have respect for "priceless works of art" is unwarranted. As I said previously, the event was in a hall that did not have displays. It's not that I don't care. There was just…

This comment is a thing of beauty. Not only do you shame someone for acting badly in a thread about "What was the worst thing you've ever done at a New Years party?" where the acting badly = stealing a bottle of off-brand juice with no other bad outcome, but you manage to shade the former Corcoran, obviously dredging…

So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "wut r u doing wit my daughter?" U tell ur girl n she say "my dad is ded". THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

This is why I never go any where or do anything.

on the other hand, if it's not, asking could be a really, really bad idea...