Just missed mashing a dong too. Poor guy.

Made for the following people in their entirety:
You, Me

Added to things you only discover after catastrophic injury - it wasn’t until I was hospitalized and had an IV drip put in my right arm that I realized I’ve never wiped my ass with my left hand. It was like trying to wipe my ass using the claw grabber at a Denny’s. 

Left Ear, because I make stronger “jerk off” motions with my right arm.  

The VAR review was inconclusive. 

W.B. Jeets

If you yourself have any AL East-related poetry

Considering the nature of his injury, I’d say he’s actually veal.

“Moon” was great, he was the whole damn movie.

Which is I don’t understand Tom Cruise isn’t on this list.

I’M JUST HERE TO SAY YOU’RE WRONG ABOUT NIC CAGE.

[*posts with more replies beat posts with more stars*]

I was told this material would not be on the test today.

Finally, a video that belongs on Deadspin.

I don’t even know where to begin.

Nah. He’s just learned to keep his fucking mouth shut, which is an improvement but is hardly redemption.

This is actually kind of tragic. Now that the fawn has the smell of the Browns on it, it’s mother will reject it and it will end up dead.

We will get Mad Max, though!

I think I’d be able to take Greta Van Fleet a little more seriously if they didn’t dress like rejects from an off off off off Broadway revival of Hair.

And if they didn’t blatantly rip off far more talented musicians who blatantly ripped off far more talented black blues artists.

I’m surprised DJ Gay had time for an interview with all the gigs this month.