He played the game the way I’ve always imagined I would if I made it on Jeopardy, and for that, I hope he breaks all his bones, that piece of shit.

My rental car company is so good it Hertz. Enterprise can GTFO.

Avis? How about Gayvis

For years to come, when people discuss this winning streak, most people will answer “Who is James Holzhauer”, but will anyone ask “How is James Holzhauer?”

The real crime here is that the guy holding the flag had to pay a surcharge because he is only 24.  

my great great grandaddy didn’t die at the alamo rent-a-car by the denver airport to see me kneel to that hated rebel insignia!

“In honor of all the brave men and women that don’t charge for minor dents and lingering smells.”

Thank you for your (customer) service!  3 stars.

AND I’D SURELY STAND UP! NEXT TO YOU AND SAVE ON MY NEXT RENTAL.

Some days...

That’s not a sword attached to a rope, this is a sword attached to a rope!

I’m sitting at work in Annapolis now. The boat show sucks and all other shows including Navy graduation and the Blue Angels SUCK!!! My kid goes to High School downtown and I’m tired of sitting in traffic for all those sockless dweebs!

Sorry, but the correct response was “What is, Annapolis?”

“I don’t even want to talk about that,” Johnson said. “I don’t have no reason to talk about that. I don’t even talk about the Lions.”

Simpson beats Tatum. Amazing.

I think we’re gonna need a bigger belt.

I was hoping for an 8-way tie.

Hopefully he doesn't have any problems getting on the plane back to Minnesota. I’ve heard Bert needs to be home at least an hour before midnight.

The Twins used to play in the Metrodome. They have lost all rights to complain about the quirks or crappiness of another stadium in perpetuity.

Re: Tropicana Field