Did I mention I scraped by with a 62 in high school math?

Poor Jennifer. 

Sorry, Harden and CP3 are dicks.

Eminem: “Lose Yourself”

“Magic Johnson was great on First Take this morning! Stephen A Smith was also great. Max Kellerman has a really bright future!”

You have no idea what you’re talking about, Barry!

He sold that really well.

They know all about the have-nots - which is why they’ve converted their dealerships into near-predatory subprime lending outfits that just happen to offer (rather mediocre) cars on which to write those loans...

#25 made the playoffs all eleven years he played for the Blazers.

Funny, I thought STDs were more of a problem in retirement communities...

Anybody else itching to watch some baseball?

In Minors, the Clap is Back

“This one’s goin’ back back back backbackbackbackback aaaaaaaaand.......Gonorrhea!”

Much to the chagrin of Jimmy Dugan. 

Who cares if he pees blood?

So all this time my wife has been trying to pass a drug test?

Americans: The next time some West Wing superfan or Trudeau-licker tries to tell you how wonderful Canada is, and their ongoing treatment of First Nations isn’t enough, remind then that Lulu Lemon was founded by a white guy who thought it would be funny to try to make people with East Asian accents pronounce that name.

if you don’t like alcohol, why are you reading about alcohol? To proselytize and convert?

yes

I’ve spent my entire life trying to be the fastest at everything and I’ll be damned if I stop now.