Buddy, if you think there’s a conspiracy to get a *Minnesota* team a championship, I don’t know what to tell ya

I hope Laura Ingraham burns in a fire of her own making.

You can see clearly at 0:38 that Cousins comes down with all his weight onto Bennett. This absolutely should be a foul of roughing the rusher.

Hanging around like a bad case of Jaklitsch, you might say?

Dude doesn’t use serial/oxford commas in his articles but will use 20 commas in place of em dashes.

who missed five kicks that could’ve totaled 13 points.

He’s finally healthy, finally got paid, and is still bellyaching and talking trash about his teammates. He’s talented, but can we agree that he’s a fuckboi?

The worst part? Roethlisberger is the father.  

They would need to win before they could pick up a defeated opponent.

“What he should have done was walk over, pick Conor up and say some great things to one of other. Whatever you think of Conor, at least respect the guy.”

That’s the best Cam Dicker Texas has seen since Sean Elliot.

We found Hamilton Nolan’s burner account.

Jack, please, no need to shitpost under a burner account. 

Calling Jack Merkin, or any of the Splinter bloggers, a pundit is giving them too much credit.

Are you really Alex Pareene? I’m only asking because this is Pareenism at its saddest. Next you’ll be telling us voting doesn’t matter because both parties are equally bad. So, why not just say that now — it would save us the agony of scrolling past these weak, watered-down teasers.

This is either a bad take or exquisite trolling. Frankly I can’t tell which, so if it’s trolling, my God. Excellent work.

LOL oh you have the right? Interesting.

I feel like, when Trump inevitably wins a second term because white people didn’t feel inspired by whoever was chosen to be the Democratic candidate, and we’re on the brink of nuclear war, we should just frame the Splinter this article and the comments section under it.

No no no! I want immediate gratification now!

How can he do all this altruistic shit you expect of him when almost all of his time is dedicated to running the Deep State?