I definitely did, but that’s because I was furiously masturbating.

You did it wrong. You’re supposed to just put the chicken on the top rack and throw the spices in the soap drawer. The wash cycle will infuse the chicken with the spices and cook it for you.

the only aspect of the article I see that could make the author’s “disdain for the Gaines [...] palpable” would be his linking out to this article about their churches bigoted anti-gay stance.

She married Mitch McConnell. That’s the sort of appalling work that only immigrants have the fortitude for.

It was right there..

This is what journalists should be doing. Calling to task the corrupt and questionable officials in our gov’t. It is a shame it took this long for it to be as mainstream, but this is hardly a “hit job” as much as the media actually shining a light on the cronyism and corruption in DC.

Cocaine Elaine. Jesus, come on.

Hopefully we can get Cowherd and Bayless behind the paywall next.

The NHL playoffs ended April 8th. I don’t know what this guy is blabbing about. Kilkenny won their 18th title. Only Tipperary (the team they defeated) have won Division 1 more.

If you’re wearing underwear, that will do in a pinch. If you’re Donald Ducking it, just act casual and maybe no one will notice.

Dear Johannes,

Someone needs to punch his bitchass in the mouth.

After taking all those dongs I’m surprised he can walk...anyone.

I’m not sure who is going to allow more runs in Cincinnati, Matt Harvey or skyline chili

How much lead could a woodchuck chuck?

*shartable

Won’t even be late for his piano lessons.

That’ll teach that buck-toothed asshole not to predict an early Spring again.

Fucking Western European immigrants at it again.