After they mate they’ll sire a Wendigo

It’s strangely comforting to know that even the greatest athlete on the planet still has to deal with an asshole boss. Some things are unavoidable I suppose...

It was the second most common death on Oregon Trail, slightly edging Drowning While Attempting to Ford the River, but nowhere near as common as Dysentery.

— Reusable headline for the 2017-18 season

+6 for the Leinenkugel shandy 

Thinking about baseball should have delayed the need to even have this party.

I groaned so hard I just pulled my groin.

The event was great, but I waited at the Jalopnik booth forever to get your autograph and left disappointed! Actually, in retrospect it might have been a food truck- were you guys serving ice cream?

That probably should have only been a double, but once the baking soda came into play, there was an extra base.

Col du Pooper

It was a great afternoon for it on Gull Lake!

That reply is fabulous. +1...or a twelver of Old Milwaukee, the true beach bum brew, your call.

The Oakland Arfletics are my favorite team.

She didn’t fall apart, she gave up.

There are no losers here today because fans in attendance can redeem their ticket stub for a 5-cent/gallon discount at participating BP stores on up to an eight-gallon purchase for the rest of the weekend. Score a match-point by taking advantage of a BOGO for all 20-ounce Coca Cola products, limit 2 per customer.

She just came out of nowhere.

i’m broke too...i should head over there so we can all comiskerate.

Enter, sand man.

The kissing excuse isn’t new. Canadian pole vaulter Shawn Barber blamed his positive drug test before the 2016 Olympics on kissing a woman who had consumed cocaine

Who knows. But its possible that if all I ate were chicken nuggets, every day, all my life, but then I found a bunch of fresh cheetos on the ground, I might have the same reaction. Someone should test this on Skip Bayless.