Brave Sir Rubio ran away.
(“No!”)
Bravely ran away away.
(“I didn’t!”)
When danger reared it’s ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
(“I never!”)
Yes, brave Sir Rubio turned about
And gallantly he chickened out.
(“You’re lying!”)
Swiftly taking to his feet,
He beat a very brave retreat.
Bravest of the brave,…

Here’s mine.

Can’t stop the signal, Mal.

I think you mean the “Exxon-Mobil Red Bull Why America is Awesome” textbooks of the future.

I have been using the Detoxifying Black Cleanser and Purifying Cleanser gel for years to wash my face with the Clarisonic. Even when my face rashes, I can use it. Also have used the Enlivening AG Eye Treatment as my day eye cream although they discontinued the night eye cream I used.

My Dad Wrote A Porno is the only good thing that happened in 2016.

I might be persuaded if my miscarriage burial options include a proper Viking burial at sea.

I stand with you in your love of pots of melted cheese. :D

Instead of cream cheese I would go with using the leftover Aldi goat cheese with cranberry (if you were smart enough to buy an extra one because otherwise there won’t be any left).

Protip- buy brioche buns the day before.

My grandparents and their families were at Minidoka. They lost everything. My grandfather and great uncle fought with the 442nd and liberated Dachau while their own families, all American citizens born on American soil, were imprisoned behind barbed wire in the desert. My grandmother’s father was taken away to a…

hnnng yes glasses Indy is peak Indy

Counterpoint: Mayo in place of butter is awesome for grilled cheese. Be sure to use real Hellman’s or Dukes for best results. None of that fat free/reduced calorie crap. Results below:

It isn’t French because it’s inspired by French cooking, it’s called that because this is what you make when you surrender unconditionally to life.

I thought everyone was aware, 3 year olds are assholes. I don’t know why everyone talks about the terrible twos; if I ask a kid his age and he says 3 I GTFO.

Not to sound pessimistic but no matter how much support we give to these groups we can only do so much with a Republican House, Senate, and Supreme Court. I mean sure the Democrats could effectively spend the next 4 years filibustering all of the Republican’s attempts to dismantle 60 years worth of social progress but…

Nope, this is what I’m wearing tomorrow:

I recommend you hang the wine bag from an IV pole and mainline it.

if you guys really are in need of collards, i’m selling discounted ones for only $50. resume? i’m from new orleans & about 99.99% positive they’re better than neiman’s

When my first child turned xx months old (I don’t remember exactly) I realized how I had kept using milestones to makr everything, like, ok, my wife is 4 months pregnant and everything seems normal, we can go ahead and tell people; or ok, safe delivery, yea!; or, made it to 3 months, not sure if this quirk is…