How is that not the Missouri she knows? Where was she at when Mike Brown was murdered? Did she not hear anything about St. Louis the last few weeks? Cognitive dissonance is a mutha.

Do you ever catch yourself in this alternate reality dream state? Like, of course! We are all apart of one another. Of course! We all have value. Of course! We should be able to choose for ourselves. You look at the trees, sky, dirt, and feel the sway of the earth.

My Swiftian “Modest Proposal”

I think they should ban abortion, but the caveat being the state has to buy the baby for $250,000 per kid, payable to the mother.

‘“We pulled them out of the box, taped them down. There was no ill-intent,” he added. “If someone thinks that I mean personal harm to someone, they don’t know me.”’

Careful man, you’ll cut yourself on all the edginess.

Of all the dumb takes I’ve seen today, yours was the dumbest. Congratulations.

As if they’d turn down someone of that profile with that amount of money. THERE ARE NO MORALS, ONLY ZUUL.

Yep sure is slutty to have a baby with someone you have been dating over a year and you are in your 30s.

My high school lacrosse team captain did/ caused this once.

Quick back story... Years before I joined and played, taking off our cleats on the bus after a victory became our team’s lucky thing. Almost 20 years later they still do it.
More back story... When he was a ‘Frosh, our Captains feet stunk so bad that his…

Lucien Greaves? More like Lucien GREAT, amirite?!?

Let’s also hear from the Warrior’s unofficial spokesperson, the youngest Curry...

Erinn Hayes is funny and talented and I’m sure she can do better than Kevin Can Wait. Everything will be OK.

They can’t. It’s like arguing with a Trumpanzee about literally anything without their invoking emails, Benghazi, “Hitlery”, or “Obummer”. They can’t do it. It’s like some kind of dumbass Tourette’s or something.

nude photos of an underage Kourtney that she had been “holding hostage” as a sisterly joke

To quote Flight of the Conchords, this look can be described as “Casual Prince.”

Um, I’m sorry? I honestly have no idea how you could possibly be offended by my comment but, okay. Sorry.

That’s nice to hear. I have heard from multiple sources that you won’t find a more consummate professional on a set than Kim Kardashian. So as far as I’m concerned they can keep on keeping on. I don’t watch the show or buy any K products but I’ve also known much smaller potatoes with much larger egos and a propensity…

I can share one positive piece of gossip about the Kardashians that I’ve heard from people in the know that increases my patience for them:

I recently moved to a new community, and there is a certain color of hair — I think of it as “Republican Blonde” — that I see all over. It makes me wary of striking up conversations with people. Small talk isn’t as fun as it used to be.