Somebody really needs to ask him how he gets his totally natural part so low.

This is my only takeaway.

When appearance is one of the qualifications for the job, I have no problem with a codification of that, but kudos for the Appellate Court pointing out that it must be enforced evenly across the board.

It does not make anyone psychotic. Please stop spreading misinformation.

“Duck fat shot.”

Aight, here’s the thing: what if your hoppin’ John is better than the one that somebody’s grandmama brought? What you gonna do then? What’s anybody gonna do? It’s gonna be weird, is what. Why even put the whole cookout in that situation?

Language has evolved with technology and this is so ubiquitous at this point that “duck,” “ducking,” and “ducked” have become nearly interchangeable with “fuck,” “fucking,” and “fucked.” It’s pretty ducking cool.

I assume everyone on HSN is drunk. Like, required to be. Why wouldn’t they be?

Nah. A 4-gram joint would be abnormally large. Not that I haven’t done it, as have many, many folks, but “average” is probably around a gram, maybe 1.5.

It’s hardly “getting caught,” though. Half the time she just got a ride home! Where is any kind of motivation to “tighten one’s game” if there are zero consequences to not doing so?

Roberta Vinci is, objectively, not “a better player.” She played one better match. But, yes, Serena’s attitude is so, so tiresome.

Maybe if Serena hadn’t saved all her best backhands for the post-match presser...

Yeah, no. She was never smart. If by “plain-spoken” you mean “too stone stupid to use a word over two syllables,” then, yeah, she has always been that. And, yes, she was, somehow, elected to govern Alaska, but she failed pretty mightily at that.

I try, really, not to be continually amazed by the absolute clownshoes ridiculousness of this year’s GOP pageantry, but these desperate, sweaty, gelatinous masses of unincorporated political ambition just keep outdoing themselves.

That liver looks like a stubby dick and now I can’t see anything else.

We really need to make a point to not only never treat Trump as a legitimate candidate (because he’s not, and we know it, he knows it, the overwhelming majority of the world knows it) but also to never treat his “support” as anything more than the support of bored wackos, contrarian dickheads who always think they’re…

You absolutely do. Now, those drinks (or, really, drink names, because the people ordering drinks like this don’t much care about the actual cocktail) may not be as popular simply because the population douchey enough to want drinks like that is also douchey enough to lean towards the sexist names, but unflattering…

Plus Joey Lauren Adams’s boobs! Twice!!

Tell him, SteveDave!