Mike Huckabee is a garbage clownfraud whom no remotely intelligent person should or could take seriously. It’s a little sad how many words on this media network have been devoted to someone who has managed to be a ridiculous joke even within the ridiculous joke that is the Republican party. He has no chance of even…

OK, so almost every woman I know has a story (or, most often, myriad stories) of old (-er) men flashing them when they were teenagers or sometimes even younger, and I just have to know how many dudes are flashers? It’s never occurred to me, as an adult, to just flop out my dong like it’s the damn Hope Diamond or…

Only administrators. Principals are not “educators.” Not by a long shot.

My graduating class was 31. In a city of over half a million. Not large, by any means, but not exactly “small-town America.”

The only way to fix this is to get a new commencement speaker:

Clerical mistakes absolutely will get you out of a ticket, though I don’t have much experience with traffic tickets. One night in NYC I got summonses for possession (weed), open container (bottle of vodka in my bag) and something else, probably public intox. The officer misspelled my name on all three, and when I went…

Roast your Brussels sprouts with olive oil, sea salt, and fresh black pepper. Roast them until they are crispy on the outside. Then eat them like popcorn while you think about how to appropriately compensate me for changing your life for the better.

Why would any individual ever pay for streaming music? I think everybody got the picture from Sirius and the other one that it’s just not worth it.

Ever been to Atlanta?

There are people out there paying random women on craigslist $50 for their worn panties. Never underestimate the desperation, creepiness, and disposable income of dudes who aren’t getting any.

So, uh, basically homeboy’s response was, “Ummmm...we were hacked. Yeah, that’s it. Hacked.”

Is there a major religion where “ultra-Orthodox” doesn’t mean “extra misogyny, please?”

Yeah, because Mormons and Christians and military members are never hypocrites, ever, right?

Said the self-absorbed, obnoxious asshole who really needs you to really listen to this song, this time, man. And for the next 18 times you repeat it.

I mean, it’s pretty much time to forcibly disband FIFA, right?

How does this smug douchebag keep getting elected?

Um. This law is a great thing. You can’t have bombs and sniper fire going off right next to children, people!

On the coffee table? Three.

There is normal, natural, mutual sexual curiosity acted out between children, and then there is what Josh Duggar did. The two are quite far apart.

The alcoholics know.