now here’s a guy who knows what really maters.

What if she wasn’t really pregnant and the ball was full of cash and happiness?

Somehow, against logic, everybody in this picture annoys me more than the person next to them.

You... You still have hope.

Your resilience is commendable, and far be it for me to take away that magical glint deep in your eyes, for surely our fanbase need more like you.

Alas, it’s too late for me. I’ve read this book too many times.

His ass has a mouth? Should we start calling him Draymond “Cloaca” Green?

you buried the lede, which is that the mariners managed to score as well

Be Best be stupid. Be Best be making grammatical mistakes. Be Best could have been “Be Your Best” pretty easily, but Be Dumb is what the Trump Administration Be About.

“People know right from wrong and anyone we track down who kept a dollar of this money all be arrested for theft. The time to do the right thing an call us to turn in the money is now, because once we knock on your door, you won’t be able to avoid being arrested.”

What a pussy. I’m 46 and you don’t see me retiring.

The 44-year-old outfielder will be replaced on the 25-player roster by pitcher Erik Goeddel.

I am now an ardent fan of Michelle Jokes Frizzy Hair Small Tits.

I came out of the shower once when my sister was visiting, and she’d put on Wolf’s HBO standup special. I usually don’t like jumping in mid-show on things, but she was laughing so hard I had to come in to see what was up. I didn’t get dressed until that shit was over, it was so fucking funny.

If you can snag HBO, her special Nice Lady is a riot.

I’d never even heard of her before today. Now, rock on girl! Can’t wait to see what she does next.

I’m in. I watched her set on youtube today and she nailed it. They shouldn’t be apologizing for what she said. They should be praising her honesty.

This. So many of them are whining about how her voice sounds. That’s such a red flag when men do that. It’s like they’re grasping for legitimate reasons to hate her, and all they can think of is her voice. Her womanly voice.

Obviously, they hated Stephen Colbert back in the day too. That said, do you think the set would have been perceived differently if it was a man telling the jokes? Is she being dinged for not playing nice, like a good girl should?

She had the choice of either doing as expected and complimenting the emperor’s new clothes, or telling him that his dumb ass is butt naked.

Conservatives in October 2016: It’s just locker room talk!
Conservatives in April 2018: This lady comedian is so vulgar!