Many years ago when I was in fifth a grade my teacher wanted everyone in the class to have something signed by their father. She was specific - father, not mother. I did not have a father in the picture, since he was an alcoholic and my mother had kicked him out five years earlier. I can’t tell you, as a ten year old…

He doesn’t eat Whoppers. He just tells them. He prefers Bigly Macs.

A lifetime ago, I worked adjacent to baseball, and had a fan foaming at the mouth complaining to me that a baseball player hadn’t removed his hat during a song showing appreciation for America, and that player should be removed from baseball, etc, etc. I pointed out that a) it wasn’t even the National Anthem, it was…

If the pledge contained the words “money”, “pussy” and “Whopper with cheese”....maybe he’d vaguely recall it. This version? Not a chance.

Asking too much of your soft skills, is it?

technically at some point everyone had parents, but some of them may not have their parents anymore and might be taken care of by another relative like aunt/uncle/grandparent. This is not “pandering”, this is simply choosing to find a way to be more inclusive to those that might not still have parents, or that might…

Damn, this Shakespeare guy is good. Does he have a podcast?

Have a star for spot on Shakespeare!

The Bard said it best:

i already can’t believe people voluntarily put this piece of shit in their home. if you use an alexa and didn’t see this coming you’re one dumb motherfucking sucker.

01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00101100 00100000 01001101 01100001 01110010 01101011 

I wasn’t even aware he was in custody.

“I wish him well.”

Bonus points if you managed the truckside bounce. That is when you bum rushed them out, and managed to bounce them off the side of a truck or van parked outside the door. Sometimes they got bounced so hard they ricocheted back towards the door and you got to bounce them again. The confused and dazed look on their face…

I guess Alaska is the right place to find a snowflake. White and melts easily.

What’s your TikTok handle?

That’s actually a color photo too.

He’s got the old school neck roll and everything. He looks like a clean cut Brian Bosworth.

Was just heading down here to say these pictures need warnings. My question is: which one has the ovipositor to deposit their eggs in the other's chest? 

I mean listed price isn’t the same as selling price, but yeah