Why not just shop at Archee McPhee? That’s where all the good shit is.

Why not just shop at Archee McPhee? That’s where all the good shit is.

A lot of people are saying this. Someone should look into it…

An after thought, I heard Paul Ryan cheats on his wife

Yeah but money

Better question: Does it matter if it sucks?

Han Solo should not get an origin story. The entire reason you like him in the first movies is because you don’t really know what he’s about. He’s a mystery. Is he good, bad, whatever.

It’s tough to get anyone in Washington to admit to obstruction these days.

My best friend’s parents have this retro poster in their kitchen.

I have lunch every other week or so with a woman who works in my office. Sometimes we go to lunch at the same time and we both require nourishment so eating together makes sense. So far I have managed to avoid fucking her. I do this by not trying to fuck her. This also applies to all other women I know who are not my…

I was going to go for “no, this is a stocking”.

I once threw my keys at my boyfriend’s apartment window. They landed on the roof. Looking back it was not a good idea

A toddler might say to you, “Vroom vroom, I am a truck!”

And I like the smell of bleach, especially when I’m cleaning up after myself after disposing of the body.

I find laundry really relaxing. And I even have to go out to a communal laundry room and don’t have machines in my unit. The best part is folding it.

You’ve gotta think that even Childs, from his hospital bed, would tend to agree that he’s untalented at safety.

Weirdly enough, my body likes to confuse thirst for...wait for it...anxiety. I’ll wake up in the morning and be a mental mess and my fiancé will be like “....have you had anything to drink except coffee this morning?” And I’ll be like “oh yea...” and get a glass of water and immediately feel better.

This reminds me of the book A Supposedly Fundido Thing I’ll Never Do Again, by David Lobster Wallace.

1. Carry an unwarranted amount of self-love into every situation. Compound said narcissism into an assuredness that is unassuageable pushing past arrogance and into full blown ignorant hatred of any and all things different than what you believe at your core.

“I hope kids watching the WBC...”