Be Best!

Never liked Hardwick. Never thought he was funny and hated that he somehow became the face of “nerd culture” (which is also a thing I hate). He is what would happen if you Entertainment Tonight and San Diego Comic Con had a baby. If this speculation about him is true, I look forward to him no longer being any part of…

Just say “no” to theocracy!

I use Lime Bike when I am drunk or about to get drunk. And only the electric ones because if you are renting a bike, it should be as little work as possible. I have a bike, but it’s way easier to just ditch the green monstrosity outside a bar and then try to find another one six beers later. Sometimes the one I rode…

I listened to the whole thing while shouting (in my head) “SHIFT! SHIFT!” It sounds like my 50cc scooter.

I probably said this somewhere around here before, but whenever my kid fell (when she was little) I’d stand over her, stick my arms out like an umpire and shout “SAFE!” I think it confused her enough to keep her from crying.

I would be down with putting kids in tent cities but only if Sessions stays in one for a month (August, perhaps) as a proof of concept.

Everybody shut up. Just let us have this. Then in August you can go back to ignoring Seattle baseball, but for now don’t nobody cramp our style.

Parades are bad. Any parade. All parades. I worked on the Seahawks parade route when they won the Superbowl. A bunch of us crowded into a conference room to watch it go by, feeling smug while watching the dummies jockeying for position and climbing shit and and generally standing around outside for a really long time.…

Made even greater by getting Josh Charles to do it.

I think I love it the most when he backs up, then attempts to pull forward without shifting out of reverse. He is a hundred kinds of dumb.

“If you’re involved in a sort of slimy business, (that) says something about you — says something about how far you’ll go to make money,” says the man who clearly never listens to the words that come out of his own god damned mouth.

I don’t know if it’s Carlin but I heard once a 68 is “you blow me now, and I owe you one later.”

The Wrong Side of History is going have to build another wing.

I can’t decide if “Awkwafina” is the dumbest or greatest stage name. Maybe both? When she gets that sponsorship deal, I trust it won’t matter.

I am 5'11" 220. Though I am reasonably certain both my scale and mirror are broken. But my wife somehow still loves me. Anyway, young Mr. Chamberlin is 240 like the president is 235. Which is to say, he isn’t.

Cranium died from mismanagement shortly after the Sonics left. Scooped up by Hasbro in a fire sale, who then kept the IP and jettisoned the people. Not saying that the two are related, except to illustrate another example of the business brain trust at the Sonics helm.

Why are some people such garbage? I like Kelly Marie Tran. I liked Rose. My half-Asian daughter was thrilled to have not only female leads in The Last Jedi but to have one that sorta looks like her. There are plenty of white, male leads out there for the fragile fan boys to jizz on. Maybe it’s time to write Ms. Tran a…

It didn’t occur to me until I read the story about Nixon earlier today. Now I am throwing it on the pile of conjecture that we may never really have an answer to.

Looks like he starches the shit out of those things. I could make my collars that tall with enough product. I don’t want to because I’m not a weirdo millionaire.