I drive a 16-year-old Subaru with less than 120,000 miles on it. I have not had a car payment in 13 years. I am going to drive that thing until the wheels come off.

I need a third fist to punch all three of those faces up there at the same time.

I predict the Mariners will pick him up and turn him into a fourth outfielder and he won’t adjust and but they’ll keep him around for about four years and when he goes we’ll all miss him anyway.

I’m very upset that nowhere in this article did you raise the question: What kind of monster watches “This Is Us”?

Gah! English major goes to math class! So many more rats. Give me all the rats. I’m not at all surprised I miscounted the zeroes. But thank you for the correction.

I count about 14 rats in that picture, x1000. Give me the 14,000 rats. I didn’t make the rules but, damn it, I am following them to the letter.

“Lugash” from the Simpsons is probably at least partially correct.

I drank my share and your share of Schaefer when I was in high school (in the long ago 1980s) because we could buy cases of it with a stack of sweaty one-dollar bills at a store that shrugged at my 16-year-old pal’s obviously fake ID. Not sure I could drink it today, but I am experiencing a weird sensation of…

Oh, for sure. I basically could have listed their entire catalog besides “Turning Japanese” but I was trying to control myself. I still listen to them on the regular.

I will pay for all the gasoline.

Anything by The Vapors. They were hamstrung by “Turning Japanese.” They were a really solid pop/punk outfit otherwise.

CMOS for the win! Although it is unusual, to me, for a media outlet to not use AP style, which calls for titles in quotation marks.

“The Leftovers” was one of my favorite TV shows. I will try not to let this new information about Mr. Paris Hilton ruin it. I will try to just focus on the impossible sexiness of Carrie Coon.

Welcome back to years of futility, ‘hawks!

Dumb arrogant future-has-been. I spend about five weeks a year in Japan (married to a Japanese citizen) and while I spend a lot of time playing politics explainer (especially in this last year) to our friends, I hope I never have to explain this shithead. He’s not doing anyone any favors. Can we just skip ahead to the…

Oh, my sweet lord.

I adore this movie beyond taste and reason. I highly recommend it as half of a double-feature with the Lewis/Ribisi epic, “The Other Sister.”

I know I’m “an old” (I’m so far on the wrong side of 40 that I’m 50) but the very idea that “YouTuber” is a career now fills me with a white-hot, yet impotent rage (and I’m 50 so I know from impotent). And while I’m sure you could point out some “YouTubers” whose channels do something positive, dudes like this shitbag…

Stayed for Nina Blackwood.

Truth upon truth! Thank you for fighting for what is right.