I made that same face when I realized that I was alone in an Elevator with Andrew W.K.
I quickly recovered, however, and offered him some whiskey from the bottle that was smuggled in my purse. He chuckled and good-naturedly took a swig. I can only hope Victoria fared as well later on.

I bow to you, sir or madam.
Alex Chilton + Big Star foreverevereverever.

Nicky Hilton always struck me as having a good head on her shoulders...or at least she never seemed like a total moron. She seems like the chill Hilton...the Chilton.*
*don't do drugs, kids.

I'm so glad I wasn't alone!! Thankfully I grew into my eye-stalks.

...Yes. I did.

Right?! When I was 16 I looked like a praying mantis.

God damn it must suck to have to offer proof to the world that your relationship is successful.

He's the dude who wrote the Notebook, and a host of other insipid romance novels (ie Nights in Rodanthe, etc.).

Nor have I. Nicholas Sparks makes me want to puke my pants.

Wait, are Hailey and Lourdes going to the same college?!
Capers. Capers galore!
*As in adventures, not tiny pickled mystery dots.
**Saturday morning wake n' bake. I'm making biscuits and gravy, come over!

What the fuck, Joan Rivers?

"There was soup in my shoe. I was so hungry."
So bleak. This is awesome.

MY CHILDHOOD IS NOT A PRIZE TO BE WON!

*There are times when I would punch someone in the face for a honey-butter chicken biscuit.

Is it weird that I find Hugh Jackman even hotter with his hair/face like that?

GRODY TO THE MAX

Waffle House, no!! I've been your biggest cheerleader! I went on the internet and found all that crazy Waffle House music that's on the jukebox so I can make my friends listen to, "Make Mine With Cheese," by Woody Mankowski! Goddamn it, Waffle House! Innocence lost.

Thanks for saying that! I'm lucky to have plenty of sane, respectful, male advocates and friends in my life , and this kind of thing makes guys like you all the more awesome.

I live on a country road in Austin, where a five minute drive can result in feeling as if you're in the boonies. I have two large dogs (who have lived with me throughout my twenties, helping me feel safe whilst living in some pretty unsavory territory) whom I have to walk regularly. I'm a redneck at heart and love…