THIS I like!!

When I was 22 I met a guy that I immediately had chemistry with. Through talking all night, he told me he hates mayonnaise. I, being too young to know that it’s okay to have your own opinions in regards to condiments, immediately agreed that I found mayonnaise disgusting...WHICH IS A LIE. I love the stuff!

This is very similar to my dream, except I want to fill my Addams Family mansion with foster children and senior cats.

My first thought as well.

As someone who honestly tends to gravitate to musicians, I always felt for Mandy Moore. Ryan Adams seems like a tough row to hoe.

I work at a yoga studio in Austin, and one South By Southwest I was practicing; we were about 15 minutes into class. The door suddenly opens and three dirty-looking kids with jeans on came in and plopped down when I realized IT’S SHIA THE BEEF and his wife! They attempted the class quite admirably and then afterwards…

TEAM JEN 5EVER

If you breastfeed then your kid’s not vegan.

My immediate and crotchety thought:”None of them are gonna be Steely Dan so I’m not interested.”

Fat Damon.

Everybody fucks! Old people, fat people, differently abled people, homely people. One doesn’t have to be a Heidi Klum to get down, we ALL bone! Asexuals notwithstanding, I love y’all (platonically).

Precisely! I froze.

Hahahahahahahaha

I feel the exact same way!

Honestly, I have one dog that might be able to handle an international flight, and one that would have a heart attack and die.

Kim Jong Un over Trump any day.

Yup. I work out bc it makes me feel good, and so I can drink beer. Life’s too short, and if I get hit by a bus tomorrow I’ll be pissed I didn’t eat that cake!

Agree.

Real talk: I’d wear the fuck outta them snake boots.