ohballs
ohballs
ohballs

I live in Austin, and all the ice cream trucks play "La Cucaracha". So, same same, but different?

WHAT IS WITH THIS BROAD AND WHY DOES SHE CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO MY UTERUS?!?!?!

As soon as I read the headline, I nodded vigorously and said, "I will go to there," aloud to myself. Julia keeps getting better with time, and Joe Biden will be my forever grandpaboyfriend. So, basically, what I'm saying is: carry on.

Highway 12.
On the double yellow line in the middle of the road in the middle of the night.
We didn't complete the act, but there was no one out there and we were drunk. Ah, youth.

Ah. I am made of black coffee and Basic Light 100's. Just as I always suspected. Thanks, Mom!

A dude on Olivia Wilde's twitter feed asked what the kid smelled like.
I think the internet is slowly killing my willing suspension of disbelief.

Oh shit, that reminds me, I have to run to 7-11!
To buy fucking birth control.
This is my heaven. Lutera and a slice of cheap, delicious pizza to go along with it.

You beat me to it!

oh my god ME TOO!!!

Whenever I see Joey Fatone's name in print, I pronounce it in my brain as Joey Fat One. I can't help it!

"There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." -Madeleine Albright
A special place in hell, indeed. One can only hope.

I also want to marry this news. Maya Rudolph, Kristen Bell, and Janelle Monae in one fail swoop?

I'd pretend to be a fridge for him any day.

Dear Christopher Meloni:
Please. Now. Words. I can't. Just do me.
Love, me.

Dudes!! Tig Notaro!!

"Nick Cannon gave Mariah Carey a very expensive bracelet that looks like it came from Claire's. [Life&Style]"
Isn't that basically Mariah Carey's aesthetic in a nutshell? I feel like Mariah Carey is basically the human equivalent of a Bedazzler. I say that with love.
Also, fucking Roundhouse?! I wrote them a fan

That was the first time I've ever listened to Dmitri's message, and...I think I developed an anxiety disorder. Jesus Christ, dude. Nuh-uh. Negatory. Forever.

I've gotten stoned with many a homo, and. I loved every minute of it!

I always thought perhaps that it was the shit that drove them mad...
*sips something thoughtfully
*strokes imaginary wispy chin-beard