This is a dude who does not fuck around when it comes to the stage.

Are you kidding? Do you know how cheap it is to get an 8-year-old to take a dive? The Russians just found their new national pastime.

Come on, y’all. It was light racism. Humorous racism! Don’t you know it’s not actually racist unless you’re literally burning crosses while wearing white hoods and hanging black folks from trees? Nobody does that shit (much) any more, so racism isn’t really a problem these days, y’know? Gosh, stop finding offense.

I honestly don’t care about KK getting robbed, but I fucking love a heist. #TeamPinkPanthers

When Ellen (was that the name of the sitcom? I feel like it changed names once or twice) was showing the girl/girl kiss back in the early ‘90s, my local affiliate refused to air the episode. Never underestimate how much white people in the south hate blacks, gays, non-Christians, or really whatever.

$51 is absolutely absurd for those stupid shorts. I barely paid that much for a new Calvin Klein leather jacket last winter.

$51 is absolutely absurd for those stupid shorts. I barely paid that much for a new Calvin Klein leather jacket last…

You obviously care a whole bunch.

Sweetie, you keep bringing it up. I’m sorry it’s so important to you. I can’t possibly figure out why.

Y’know, I never really thought about committing genocide against white people before, but the whole #whitegenocide thing has really set me straight on the issue. I’m all for it! #WhiteGenocideNow

Awww, it’s really important to you that I not be wealthy, isn’t it? That’s pretty weird.

Meh, I’ve read enough drivel today.

It’s hilarious how many of you think the only people who despise the Cardinals and their fans (really just their fans) must all be Cubs fans.

I dunno, I feel like white racists have had a pretty good face and voice for a while around these parts.

I suppose if you substitute what I said with your own nonsense it’s easy for it not to make sense.

What did he do with the money? By most metrics he has, at best, barely stayed even.

Because stupid people equate wealth with merit, even when that wealth was literally handed to you and you’ve done nothing but squander huge chunks of it.

Nah, dude, I’m definitely smarter than Donald Trump, and always have been. Sorry.

No, I’m not. Try reading it without your “everyone is victim-blaming” glasses on.

They hate America. Trump hates America. He speaks of it as though it is a bleak wasteland of roving illegal immigrants raping their way across a once-great ghost town of a country. This resonates with frightened, hateful, deplorable people who hate the America that may actually be no longer supporting white supremacy…

I’m not in any way saying she deserved it (I can’t bring myself to care in any way about it, really), but your most basic tourist knows not to flash a lot of cash and jewelry and invite a shitload of attention and commotion. Since KK’s entire thing is exactly those things, and she couldn’t possibly live without doing…