needs more salt.

i try to be ‘that guy’ as often as i can but deep down, we’re all ‘that guy’.

all 7 months.

i think you meant “Hall of Fames”.

Brando feels nothing because he is dead.

clearly it was to bother you

not with a last name like Ballaban you don’t.

never, ever fuck with a hippo. or even really be near them if you can help it.

time is an illusion.

i’m sorry for your loss.

“New book reveals Tim Tebow’s tough journey”

do you think Whitlock has a big framed poster that says “Breathe” on it in his office so he doesn’t pass out all the time?

you have to retire screengrabber now because nothing could ever be better than this.

the only bad thing about dog shows is that they perpetuate pure breeding which is basically torture.

the Lotus Exige is one of the few things in life that makes me wish i were smaller.

Word Ham is the worst kind of ham.

CNN will be the death of us all.

every time you think Baylor can’t be any worse they have to go and prove that they can.

i think all the humans died in 20th century and we are all soulless golem except for the few people over 100 years old.

facts are overrated anyway.