Jesus, Joe- the last thing this campaign needed was another black eye.

Weep not for Kimba, for he has gone on to meet Geoffrey Jr. in that Great Toys-R-Us in the sky. And, yea—most importantly— he’s finally free from the soul-crushing tyranny that is: Skyline Chili

Please please please let perfect be the enemy of the good #winningstrategies

“If you don’t like the news, then go make some of your own”

Machete, huh? Sounds exhausting, as well as a good way to get shot. 

Oh the irony

Sorry, Sam but that’s not nearly gay enough

Brittany DuBois is ready for her close-up.

Only one man had the vision to run them into the ground the right way and By Gawd his name was Nick Denton. May every person cursed to helm these ill-fated sites before and between they would reunite with their only true liege and master, pray that they could outrun the fury of the sworn and vile commentariat forced…

Maybe they know exactly where the hard surfaces of the garbage patch are, by utilizing their amazing echo location sonar and/or haunting songs, treat it like loofah to knock off itchy, irritating barnacles. Also, James Inhofe just handed me this snowball

It’s like they actively tried not to give her a grimace, and somehow landed on an ironic smirk The food day sugars- been there

$15 minimum wage and a headful of CTE?  Bargain! Bonus! Boon! And a lot of people—so many people— are saying Cleveland by 5+ Sunday, (Brady on IR: cold sore from male offspring)

Yes: “make nice with your spouse’s children, or suffer their wrath”

He disabled it because of its elitist tendencies. 

The internet is on the job, and the one star reviews are pouring in!

Remember that time when he threw off his sunglasses and lit a smoke with a flaming finger from his glass of baijiu flambé? That was cool

Did you actually ejaculate on the keyboard when you typed that?

BOOOOOO!!!

Heads up, Las Vegans- there will be many black employees on your new Raiders team, too- fair warning. 

You’ll earn your flop on this side of the pond.