I quit using Naked 100 juice the instant I found out it was owned by Pall Mall.

I never expected less of him.

And vaping is NOT FOR KIDS, JUST LIKE CIGARETTES. But vaping is taking a BIG chunk away from Big Tobacco, which has been throwing its considerable PAC dark $$$/weight around for at least the last two years, trying to end vaping before it even took off.

‘We could combine them with the immigrant camps, so we can have English-speakers take care of the children we separate. Genius! AND we’ll save money by combining the camps, and having the soon-to-be-deported campers teach our formerly homeless campers some new job skill sets. Bonus!’

Surprised he's not working in the White House by now. Seems like That Man's kinda guy.

From that resumé, I’m surprised he hasn’t been offered a top position at the White House.

For Craig:

Good people of Northern Carolina, better luck in 2020. Sincerely.

I think she’s assuming there’s going to be another blue wave at the polls. The problem with that is she’s pissed off a lot of us, because we voted for change, and she gave us status quo.

Actually, it’s the slutty slut being caught out having SEX.

‘It was so quiet you could hear a gnat fart...what the f*ck do we do with that?’ - an actual quote from someone IN that meeting.

I apologise for not getting this is sarcasm. I should have known, knowing your history; I’d not yet had coffee, and this is The Onion Timeline, afterall.

Did you mean 'his aides will have to workshop some zingers first', because clever ain't his thing.

I love CABB. Can we pronounce it ‘cabbie’?

Between lunch and then.

Ostracize him.

Correct. The Constitution is a flawed document, because it was written by men who considered women and people of colour ‘property’.

Well, he just fired Bolton, so...

Floors me the entire country is held hostage by them.

Anyone familiar with Vietnam?