As a man with a good UFO story, having a good UFO story is a burden.

Every day of my life. Solidarity in sweating your soul out when it’s all of 78 degrees and you had the temerity to wear a fucking long sleeve shirt to stand around for a hour drinking beer.

That too.

Their family is part of some fundamentalist Christian cult-like thing, I forget the name.

In tomorrow’s DFP: Mitch Albom with an exclusive interview from the scene of the assault with two Michigan State players.

Bobby Labonte disapproves of this article.

As someone who dealt with him in a professional capacity, correct. 100.

I mean, yes, all the crazy. But he’s 100 percent right about the Braun thing. He fucked up people’s lives to save his own ass and still ended up going down for it. But hey, WHO WANTS TO SEE SOME DINGERS?!

Nacho mk2.

Hey, look! It’s Johnny Manziel doing Johnny Manziel shit!

String Cheese Incident

The most Jordan speech that could ever Jordan.

Ditto.

Is this not the creation of the @PaperWash account?

If you think Lovie had anything to do with his quarterback’s success then you clearly missed his entire tenure in Chicago. He barely watches the offense practice.

“Why are you so negative about a 20-year-old 5-11 garbage fire that the league is literally trying to move out of the country?”

Just biding my time down here.

White(s only) Christmas.

They put him on leave to deal with issues related to his alcoholism and then fired him the next day. The chances of this ending up in embarrassing lawsuit territory was always roughly 100 percent.

It’s official: it will take someone dying on national TV before the NFL actually changes anything.