You certainly seem to have you’re finger on the pulse of butthurtfulness. Dorchester doesn’t deserve you, Your Grace.

6 years was long enough. You feel free to get the fuck out. Now.

Nah. You were just tricked by the Inverse Square Law of light...

A shit club firing its manager after drawing against Mourinho may be the greatest troll in the history of the game. Sacrificing Sparky to make the joke is a drag, but the troll must’ve been too good to resist.

*Nope* - Smug and dumb is no way to go through life fella.

I genuinely love the idea of the ‘beef helmet’

Seeing Machado genuflect made it all the sweeter. 

When did John Terry start playing for the Jags? 

This is America. Kids should be playing exclusively on carcinogenic tire-crumb laden grasstic MERSA-carpet and nothing else. Everyone knows this.

The righteous crowd near Pesky’s would immediately sacrificially dismember any fool like these mopes if the roles were reversed and a call went wrong for the Sox.

I presume your version includes him not starting either half. Correct? Indeed...

Good point Brad. Lots of coaches teach runners the ‘plant your right foot on the very inside of the bag when hitting first base, and then sweep off the bag with your left to clip on the follow through’ technique. The first baseman needs to know this and prepare for it. Definitely bad technique by Aguilar. Dildo.

This is not a rivalry

It didn’t. Happen to Danry Vazquez. The guy in that video.

I believe her name is rightly pronounced Ka-Rīne according to the ‘Eye-Rack’ rule in the big book of American Jingoistic Pronunciations.

No. But he now has a more extensive list of things that show how little he has in common with the athletes he covers.

Can anyone confirm if this situation caused Tristan Thompson’s flight or flight instinct to kick in?

Thought this was going to be a Ronaldo rape companion piece. Consider me disappointed. 

Warning shot to DJ? 

Not true. In the real America, the entitled doughy white southern bitchy baby men do not beg to be teamed with the black guy.