and yet here you are in the dirt with the rest of us, you slug

The Braves are in shock. Get them out of here.

I’d say the Braves had at least a couple thousand tons of boron in their shoes.

Well...I guess SOME PEOPLE get to make edits after 15 minutes. Talk about privilege.

“10 runs in the first inning? Not great, not terrible.”

Well, it works if you consider small ball getting as few hits and runs as possible.

The only real unwritten rule is hypocrisy.

I’m all good with this, I just don’t ever want to hear a Cardinals red ass ever talk about respect the veterans (*cough* Carlos Martinez).

You ok bud?

the athletic department released this promo video starring Self in a [tucked-in] Adidas t-shirt and dollar-sign chain

Rock Chalk, Crip Walk

FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK

So folks are only respectful to you when they’re running a grift? That’s just sad, boss.

Good thing he wasn’t playing at Santa Anita

CAIN WAS ABLE! (now...not so much)

No, but we can recommend 29 other teams to root for.

There are numerous examples of this kind of round-number-chasing in meaningless September/October games; leave it to the Red Sox to shit away a full season THEN get their sanctimonious panties in a bunch when the opposition reminds them they are playing in meaningless games.

The answer to that question is always Bryce Harper.

No he made a stupid comment congratulating Minor and CB Bucknor on his 200th strikeout because every member of the Boston sports media deserves to be set on fire

You might not have noticed, but sports fans are kinda dumb.