Ok Matt may have the best submission I’ve ever seen.

Because cocaine is famously unavailable in Miami. 

W.T. Sherman nods in approval.

So what if he tried to hit Hyde?  He’d have like an 81.7% chance of missing anyway.

So it’s essentially heritage, not hate? No wonder the Republicans fell in love with Russia.

Paying Rozier $19M a year was a terrible decision, it doesn’t justify the Draymond contract just because Draymond is more valuable.

Obligatory:

And something the fans will remind you of constantly even though it hasn’t been relevant in any way in decades and the team now stands for the opposite of that.

FDR to Hirohito, 1942.

Qatar is the only real answer, isn't it?

Never thought I’d see a pro-gun take on Deadspin.

They’re basically the Jeff Fisher of organizations at this point.

Jex, Del, Hamilton, Morgan - who the fuck names these people?!?!

Miami Coach: “Men, all you have to remember is T.N.T.! OK? T stands for Maximal Conditioning! N stands for Knowing the plan! And T stands for Ball security! Easy!”

No matter how much of that stuff he takes I don’t think he’ll ever get pregnant

That’s a picture of him before he starting taking steroids.

CALL HIM ISHMAEL.

I have to say, as a non-Yankee fan, this systematic destruction of Jeter’s carefully crafted public image - largely at his own hands - pleases me greatly.

Buddy, I can call Ty Cobb anything I want cause that dead mother fucker isn’t gonna do a god damn thing to stop me. He wouldn’t drive on roads paved by the Chinese. He hit Guatemalans with tire irons for fun. He tucked his weiner back at least twice a day because it made him feel alive.

It should've been IMPOSSIBLE for me to dislike a Marlins owner more than Loria but man, Jeter sure isn't stopping short of that mark.