I like to treat myself to a “Sorry Men Suck” cake every Wednesday. Also known as just “cake”.

Idk Reese, you did make This Means War. Pot, kettle, black.

Next thing you know, Netflix will open locations where you can browse and purchase or even just borrow movies and tv shows in person. And then someone’s gonna get the idea to compile brief, informative overviews of nearly everything in history and bind them into alphabetically organized books. The future is weird.

Random story: I used a few weeks of college vacation to learn to count cards before my planned trip to Vegas. I got pretty good and thought I was such a badass... until I realized that every “deck” is actually five decks deep as well as reshuffled every fifth deal, and so I had completely wasted my time.

Like Scarlett is okay if it’s not next to an Evangeline so now I know they are named after Scarlett Johansson and Evangeline Lily. Which leads me to believe Esme is named after the Twilight baby that clawed it’s way out of Kristen Stewart’s stomach and caught the eye of that werewolf...and then Indie...well, they are…

This is my story. Doctor said they get nourishment from the yolk sac for the first 5 weeks. Also, probably means you have fun friends :)

I actually have a picture of her!

“What kind of things do you like me to do with you body?” Jeb said as I looked over the contract. “Do you like it when I keep it from healthcare?” Oh my. My inner goddess screams YES but I blush.

Out of my best effort to respect her and her privacy, I’m not going to say if we had sex or not.

It's a time when farm folk meet for a hot dish dinner and choose the candidates for president over the wishes of their betters on the coast.

At this point I think he just calls her “Mom”

Oh man, that one O’Malley voter is going to feel like the most popular girl in school.

I was spanked, and turned out fine.

Thank god you’re here to explain all this to me.

The toddler with the hitting problem at daycare is the only one of the kids who is spanked. It’s like somewhere he learned that if you are bigger than someone else and they upset you, hitting is the appropriate response to enforcer your will and express your displeasure... Huh. A mystery that.

OT but if someone showed any of the GOP presidential candidates this book before the debate it would have saved all of us a lot of frustration.

I would have lost it at “eat your fucking dinner.” How these little creatures manage being terrors and unintentionally hilarious at the same time is beyond me.

i ordered 14 of these chairs for the jez office

I think what annoys me more is the materialism behind the idea of purchasing an extra little chair just for time-outs. Man, people have too much disposable income/space to store shit.

counterpoint: