Come one, come all.

“I’ve got a deadline! Think! Think!”

or perhaps “slow day at the office” file.

I was going to expand it to “From the ‘Duh File’”, but, yeah.

Nah

Duh?

I tried but all of the vampire jokes got me kicked out of bed. The “war paint” didn’t go over too well either. You gotta really sacrifice a lot of jokes to make this stuff work

You know how there’s an issue with quinoa becoming so expensive that the people growing it can’t afford to eat it any more?

Have you priced fish sticks lately?

I can get sweet potatoes for four or five pounds for two bucks at the street market, and can live on them for a while.

Caramelized onions make great hot dog toppings.

Make them in a crock pot. Might take longer, but your direct involvement will be less.

Both manipulated simple minds.

WIth Joe, it was a voluntary ingestion of toxins. With Trump’s policies it’s impossible to avoid.

If you have some dirt, growing veggies can be very cheap. Horse stables will often let you haul away manure for free, and many places have seed exchanges where you can get free seeds.

Now don’t go insulting Joe Camel like that. He only pushed a toxic product on children, which means he wasn’t nearly as bad as Derp Furor.

These people are paid ‘writers’. God fucking help us

Don’t do that to Wesley! He might be tempted to avoid paying taxes on it!

“Ooh look at me! I get to keep my left foot!”